They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.



I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up
$46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave it back
to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor and gave her
the money back. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew
what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the
money back again...same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.
This actually happened to me in Austin at MoPac Blvd and
Parmer Lane

............... They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

I walked into a Mickey D's with a buy-one-get-one-free
coupon for a sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little
chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' 'They're already
buy-one-get-one-free,' she said, 'so I guess they're both free.' She handed me my free
sandwiches
and I walked out the door.

............They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends
when one of them
shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and
said, 'Where?'

............They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends
when one of them
shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and
said, 'Where?'

...............They Walk Among Us!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real
estate agent which direction was North because, he explained, he didn't want the
sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the North?'
When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for
sometime,she shook her head and said, 'Oh I don't keep up with that stuff.'

...............They Walk Among Us!!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call
center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call c enter was
open. I told him, 'The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days
a week.' He responded, 'Is that Eastern or Pacific time?' Wanting to end the call
quickly, I said, 'Uh, Pacific.'

...............They Walk Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to
cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

...............They Walk Among Us!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the
cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The
cashiermultiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

...............They Walk Among Us!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area,
so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed
up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained
professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'has your plane arrived yet?'

..............They Walk Among Us!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering
a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would
like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before
responding.'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.'

.

This really makes you wonder about some people out there. Funny Stuff.

These are so good that I just forwarded them to my wife

Sounds like my friends wedding.

If you think your recent date was bad......

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates...but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.


They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.

In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however,she soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.

It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humour of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long"?, with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!"

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down...

Or perhaps that should be "pants down". And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment... "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."

Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.